mere... Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain...
Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...
Shayad mere pyar ko taste Karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya ke PASTE karna bhool gaye..
Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo...
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo...
Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS...
Ho gayi galti humse, Click ho gaya mouse
Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse!
Tumse mila main kal to, Mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili To kehti ho: Your file not found!
Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if"
Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif
Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't likeyour face
Par dil ke computer mein, Nahin hai enough disk space
Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, Pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, Ho jaata hai server down
Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, Create main karoonga
Tum usse debug karna, Wait main karoonga
Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, Main so gaya
Yeh dekho mera connection, Time out ho gaya
Kya chaal hai tumhaari, Jaise chalti hai koi cat
What is your ICQ number, Aao karein chat
Tum jabse meri zindagi, mein aayi ho banke female,
Yaad raha na ab kuch, Na postman , Na e-Mail
Joh sadiyaon se hota aaya hai Woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey Ctrl+Alt+Delete kar doonga...
Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki message Aanna Band Hai.......
Aap hi humse naraz hain ya Web Server band hai.......
Badli hai duniya , kuchch mein bhi badal gaya hoon
Pahle bekaar tha ab S/W Programmer ban gaya hoon
VC aaye to VB mein daal do,
VC aaye to VB mein daal do
seedhe seedhe sabko museebat mein daal do
Project extend ho gaya to kya ho jaata hai?
Are Tankha milti hai aur timepass ho jata hai..
teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
kabhi offline to kabhi online piya
Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo project testing kar rahe hote hai
..... Email FWD!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
How Men Change
The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!
..... Email FWD!
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!
..... Email FWD!
Difference between Saali and Wife
What is the difference between Saali And Wife*
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is BATAKA
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake , Wife is earth QUAKE
..... Email FWD!
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is BATAKA
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake , Wife is earth QUAKE
..... Email FWD!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
Legal & Logical !!!!!!!!!
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 25 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 18 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
..... Email FWD!
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 25 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 18 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
..... Email FWD!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Freaking out and enjoying life doesn't need drugs or cigarettes.
 · There are relationships apart from Bf/Gf, marriage,siblings,friendship that can be very emotional and true which is beyond the understanding of many people.
· And yeah even though U may be the best of friends there is always a limit which should never be crossed. Then it starts hurting...........
· Improving U r imperfections after you realize it, always take some time.
· You always don't need to show or prove your Gf/Bf how much U love or care about her/him, which can sound very boring and finally U R dumped.
· Believe in Love , true love will never let you down
 · Never be ashamed to go back to your old friends, friends are there to understand your mistakes.
· Do not be afraid of others, always think that others are afraid of you. (remember the Australian Beggar at the railway stations)
· Whenever you need your friend, remember that he is just a phone call away... distances can't separate friends
· In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends
 · It's the friends you can call up at 4 A. M. that matter.
· The only unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.
· The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with never say a word, and then walk away with a feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
· and last but not the least- do what your heart loves... Karo wahi Jo, DIL CHAHTA HAI!!!
..... Email FWD!
· And yeah even though U may be the best of friends there is always a limit which should never be crossed. Then it starts hurting...........
· Improving U r imperfections after you realize it, always take some time.
· You always don't need to show or prove your Gf/Bf how much U love or care about her/him, which can sound very boring and finally U R dumped.
· Believe in Love , true love will never let you down
 · Never be ashamed to go back to your old friends, friends are there to understand your mistakes.
· Do not be afraid of others, always think that others are afraid of you. (remember the Australian Beggar at the railway stations)
· Whenever you need your friend, remember that he is just a phone call away... distances can't separate friends
· In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends
 · It's the friends you can call up at 4 A. M. that matter.
· The only unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.
· The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with never say a word, and then walk away with a feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
· and last but not the least- do what your heart loves... Karo wahi Jo, DIL CHAHTA HAI!!!
..... Email FWD!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Girls Are Hard To Please!!!!!!!!!!!
The problems with GIRLS:
If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't , she says u are PROUD ..
If u DRESS Nicely , she says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, she says u are from VILLAGE.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN ;
If u keep QUIET, she says u have no BRAINS ..
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT .
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't , she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a NANNY to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS her, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE , u are BAD boy;
If she SMOKES, she is GENTLEWOMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK ;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
& sooo hard to please!!!!!
If u send this to girls, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....
The moral of the story is.......
SEND THIS TO GIRLS OUT THERE ANYWAY... Send it to boys also, gives them some laughter :-)
..... Email FWD!
If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't , she says u are PROUD ..
If u DRESS Nicely , she says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, she says u are from VILLAGE.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN ;
If u keep QUIET, she says u have no BRAINS ..
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT .
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't , she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a NANNY to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS her, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE , u are BAD boy;
If she SMOKES, she is GENTLEWOMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK ;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
& sooo hard to please!!!!!
If u send this to girls, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....
The moral of the story is.......
SEND THIS TO GIRLS OUT THERE ANYWAY... Send it to boys also, gives them some laughter :-)
..... Email FWD!
Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"MAN: "Yes."WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."MAN: "How much?"WOMAN: "$65,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
..... Email FWD!
MAN: "Hello"WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"MAN: "Yes."WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."MAN: "How much?"WOMAN: "$65,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
..... Email FWD!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Do you know.. ?
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could
read it everyday. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to
be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't
like you.
5. Every night,
SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from
it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another
look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude
remarks.
So...........If you are a loving friend, send this to
everyone,
including the one that sent it to you. If you get it back, then they really do
love you.
**** And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for a
Apple, and call me over!
Good friends are like stars........You don't always see them, but you
know they are always there.
"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though
Sometimes
It's Hard to see"
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm
here than a whole truck load when I'm gone. Amen!
RETURN TO SENDER
Forward to all your friends, including me. ! And don't tell me you're
too busy for this. Don't you know the phrase "stop and smell the
roses"? See how many "bouquets" you end up with!..... Email FWD!
Monday, April 30, 2007
SCIENCE HAS ALL THE SOLUTION
Kyun chalti hain pawan,
Because of evaporation .
Kyun jhoome hain gagan,
Because of earth's rotation.
Kyun machalta hain mann,
Because of disorder in digestion.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
Kyun gum hain har disha,
Because u have poor sense of direction.
Kyun hota hain nasha,
Because of drug addiction.
Kyun aata hain mazaa,
Because u enjoy the situation.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
Kyun aati hain bahar,
Because of change in season.
Kyun hota hain karar,
Because of taking tension.
Kyun hota hain pyaar,
Because of opposite attraction.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
..... Email FWD!
Because of evaporation .
Kyun jhoome hain gagan,
Because of earth's rotation.
Kyun machalta hain mann,
Because of disorder in digestion.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
Kyun gum hain har disha,
Because u have poor sense of direction.
Kyun hota hain nasha,
Because of drug addiction.
Kyun aata hain mazaa,
Because u enjoy the situation.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
Kyun aati hain bahar,
Because of change in season.
Kyun hota hain karar,
Because of taking tension.
Kyun hota hain pyaar,
Because of opposite attraction.
Na Tum Jano Na Hum!!!
..... Email FWD!
Saturday, April 28, 2007
A letter...
*A letter of Husband to Wife:*
Dear Sweetheart,
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses...
You are my sweetheart.
Your husband
*His Wife replied back after some days to her Husband:*
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.....
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I Hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart.
..... Email FWD!
Dear Sweetheart,
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses...
You are my sweetheart.
Your husband
*His Wife replied back after some days to her Husband:*
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.....
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I Hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart.
..... Email FWD!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Why do boys go to temple ?
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Because a temple is the only place where u can find..
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Pooja
Preeti
Bhavana
Shraddha
Aarti
Archana
Aradhana
Shanti
Jyoti
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... AND
Finally......TRIPTI..... & THEN MUKTI.....
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Because a temple is the only place where u can find..
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Pooja
Preeti
Bhavana
Shraddha
Aarti
Archana
Aradhana
Shanti
Jyoti
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... AND
Finally......TRIPTI..... & THEN MUKTI.....
Five friends
Five friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY.
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.
MAD: Is it police station ???
Police: Yes, what is the matter ???
MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police: Are you mad?
MAD: Yes, I"m MAD.
Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.
MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom....
Police: you FOOL...
MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke..
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Ab Niche kya khud ko dhund rahe ho
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.
MAD: Is it police station ???
Police: Yes, what is the matter ???
MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police: Are you mad?
MAD: Yes, I"m MAD.
Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.
MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom....
Police: you FOOL...
MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke..
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Ab Niche kya khud ko dhund rahe ho
Classic definition & Cool Meanings in new dictionary
1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist : - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after�
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
India’s Next four matches…
April 2: India vs More Vidyalaya
April 5: India vs Bishop's Highschool
May 3: India vs Cummins Ladies College
May 5: India vs Shamrao Kalmadi Primary school (I std to 5th std)
Dravid: Its tough time for us. But we will do the Best... Our first aim to Defeat the Shamrao Kalmadi primary school, because lot of players are young and energetic...
FWD: Amit
April 5: India vs Bishop's Highschool
May 3: India vs Cummins Ladies College
May 5: India vs Shamrao Kalmadi Primary school (I std to 5th std)
Dravid: Its tough time for us. But we will do the Best... Our first aim to Defeat the Shamrao Kalmadi primary school, because lot of players are young and energetic...
FWD: Amit
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Married Conversastions..!
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Friday, February 09, 2007
A Date
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our
date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got
into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for
your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a child, to an adult, to anyone with a parent. Here's hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow.
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our
date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got
into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her.
Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for
your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a child, to an adult, to anyone with a parent. Here's hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow.
Pass this on, you may save a life.
Sanjay, a rich guy, loved fast cars and he did have a few in his possession. He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speed limits. Many a times he was caught by the cops and speed radars, fined, but still he never bothered until.
One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started Writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.
How much was this one going to cost?!!! Wait a minute.
What was this????
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Sanjay began to read:
"Dear Sanjay,
Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it - a speeding driver's car.
A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven, before I can ever hug her again.
A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is all I have left."
Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road.
He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
Funny how you can send a thousand jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the sanctity of life, people think twice about sharing. Funny, how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you, for sending it to them. Pass this on, you may save a life. Then maybe not, but we'll never know until WE TRY!!
One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started Writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.
How much was this one going to cost?!!! Wait a minute.
What was this????
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Sanjay began to read:
"Dear Sanjay,
Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it - a speeding driver's car.
A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven, before I can ever hug her again.
A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is all I have left."
Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road.
He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
Funny how you can send a thousand jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the sanctity of life, people think twice about sharing. Funny, how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you, for sending it to them. Pass this on, you may save a life. Then maybe not, but we'll never know until WE TRY!!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
17 signs of falling in love!
SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY
SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.
FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM
THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.
ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME
TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.
NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.
EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM
SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.
SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.
FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.
FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.
THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...
TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.
ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY
SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.
FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM
THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.
ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME
TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.
NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.
EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM
SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.
SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.
FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.
FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.
THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...
TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.
ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Between 6 pm and 6 am..!
Between 6 pm and 6 am, a woman has the right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her!
An incident took place in Delhi - a young girl was raped by a man posing as a plain clothes officer; he asked her to come to the police station when she and her male friend didn't have a driver's license to show. He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany him to the police station. Took her instead to an isolated area where the horrendous crime was committed. The law [which most are not aware of] clearly states that between 6 pm and 6 am, a woman has the right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her. It is a procedural issue that a woman can be arrested between 6 pm and 6 am, ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer and taken to an ALL WOMEN police station. And if she is arrested by a male officer, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of arrest. Please fwd this to as many girls you know.. Also to boys.. coz this can help them protect their wives, sisters and mothers. It is good for us to know our rights. To what extent it comes of use remains to be seen in any situation. But as they say, knowledge is power. I did not know this and am sure some of us don't ? please be informed..
Discl: Forwarded Email Contents!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Major Manish Pitambare: We salute your braveness!!
Major Manish H Pitambare, we are really proud of you. We salute your braveness which will make us live in peace in the future.Star versus 'Star'
The body of Major Manish Pitambare, who was shot dead at Anantnag, was cremated with full military honours at Thane on Wednesday.
On Tuesday a news swept across all the news channels 'Sanjay Datt relieved by the court'.
'Sirf Munna Not a bhai' '13 saal ka vanvaas khatam' 'alhough found guilty for possession of armory, Sanjay can breath sigh of relief as all the TADA charges against him are withdrawn'
And then many experts like Salman khan saying 'He is a good person.
We knew he will come out clean' Mr. Big B 'Datt family and our family have relations for years he's a good kid. He is like elder brother to abhishek'. His sister priya Datt 'we can sleep well tonight. it's a great relief'
In other news, Parliament was mad at Indian team for performing bad; Greg chapel said something ...; Bomb scare in gorakhpoor express; and Shah Rukh Khan replaces Big B in KBC and Sonia asked PM to consider reducing petroleum prices (I wonder who's the PM anyways that is not the topic so leave it.) But most of the emphasis was given on Sanjay Datt's "phoenix like" comeback from the ashes of terrorist charges.
Surfing through the channels, one news on BBC startled me, it read, Hisbul Mujahidin's Most wanted terrorist 'Sohel Faisal' killed in anantnag, India. Indian Major leading the operation lost his life in the process. Four others are injured.
It was past midnight, I started visiting the foolish Indian channels, the ones who are 'Sabse TEZ', but Sanjubaba was still ruling. They were telling How Sanjubaba pleaded to the court saying 'I am the sole bread earner for my family' 'I have a daughter who is studying in US who will look after her'. And then they showed how sanjubaba was not wearing his lucky blue shirt while he was hearing the verdict. Also how he went to every temple and prayed for last some months. A suspect in Mumbai bomb blasts, convicted under armory act...was being made into a hero.
Sure Sanjubaba has a daughter; sure sanjubaba did not do any terrorist thing as in bombing some place or hijacking an airplane etc. Possessing an AK47 is considered too elementary in terrorist community and also one who possesses an AK47 has a right to possess a pistol so that again is not such a big crime; Sure sanjubaba went to all the temples; Sure he did a lot of gandhigiri but then..., people. please read on...
Major Manish H Pitambare got the information from his sources about the terrorists' whereabouts. Wasting no time he attacked the camp killed the Hisbul mujahidin's suprimo and in the process lost his life... To the bullets fired from an AK47..
He has a wife and a daughter (just like sanjubaba), age ...18 months.
Major Manish never said 'I have a daughter' .before he took the decision to attack the terrorist hide out in the darkest of nights?
He never thought about having a family and he being the bread earner
No news channel covered this since they were too busy hyping a former drug addict, an actor in real and reel life, a suspect who's linked to bomb blasts which killed hundreds. Their aim was to show how he defied the TADA charges and they were so successful that his conviction in possession of armory had no meaning. They also concluded that his parents in heaven must be happy and proud of him..
Parents of Major Pitambare are still on this earth and they have to live rest of their lives without their beloved son. His daughter won't ever see her papa again.
Finally Sir Major Pitambare , to my generation there is no greater hero than one who laid his life in the name of this great nation.
Hence Sir, I salute you. You are the real Star, Vande mataram!!.
Discl: [forwarded Email contents!]
What will happen if 1 rupee = 45 dollars...!!!
Scene 1
Venue: Microsoft Corporation, New York, US some s/w engineers are seeing some photographs.
S/w engg 1: What's that?
S/w engg 2: Bob's photographs from India.
S/w engg 1: Wow. Let me see. Which is this place?
S/w engg 3: (Sees the photo) this is Kalyaninagar, Pune
s/w engg 1 : Fundo yaar! And what is this? He got Bajaj Pulsar also.
s/w engg 2 : Let me see (sees). This guy enjoys life man...
s/w engg 3: You know how much an Bajaj Pulsar costs? Nearly 60K......
Say it in dollars... (60000*45 = 27,00,000 dollars)
s/w engg 2: Oops. We can't dream of such a thing here.
s/w engg 1 : Let's go to India & try for a job.
[Everybody excited.]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 2
Venue: Sun Microsystems, SanFrancisco , California , US
s/w engg 1: I'm with you man. My Visa is expected anytime. Soon I will fly to India
s/w engg 2 : Ohhh.... When is the party?
s/w engg 1: When I get it on hand.
s/w engg 2: Where will you be working?
s/w engg 1 : I'll be working in a company in Sadashiv Peth there....
s/w engg 2 : Oh! Sadashiv Peth. Great yaar. where it is...
s/w engg 1 : It is in Pune.
s/w engg 3 : Fundoo place yaar. Nice climate Not like
California ..
You'll love the weather yaar. One of my friends is in Budhwar Peth...He
says it's the ultimate place to live in. Cool maan.
s/w engg 2 : Who is the client yaar?
s/w engg 1: You know Municipal Corporation of Pune ?
s/w engg 3 : Yeah. MCP. One of my friends is there in the Road Repair & Cleaning Division. Most challenging job yaar. People are working in the cutting edge of technology there.
s/w engg 1 : I'll be writing software for the accounts
department of the GCU.
s/w engg 2: GCU? what it means...?
s/w engg 1 : that is Garbage Collecting Unit.
s/w engg 3 : : Great yaar. That's what I like about that country. You can get a job which requires all your skill. Not like here. See I'm
writing software for the space shuttle remote control.
I hate this.
s/w engg 1 : Don't worry guys. I'll give you my
Hotmail id. You can send your resume to me and I'll forward it to the HRD.
[Everybody takes down his Hotmail id.]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 3
Venue: IBM, New York , US
(Conversation between a Male s/w engg. and Female s/w
engg.)
Male : Hi!
Female: Hi. You know. I'm planning to settle in India
soon.
Male : What??
Female : Yeah. My marriage will be here in America
only. He is doing
his
Ph.D in J.N.T.U and he's coming here for a month. His
study
will be over in 2 months. He's already got a job in MSEB. We planned to
settle in Pune itself... I'm also planning to work there. Let's see...
Male: Good luck... dont forget us & US...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 4
Venue: Intel Corp. US
s/w engg 1: Great news guys. Our George has got
admission in the IGNOU with scholarship for B.A History. A great new field yaar...
All are excited...
George : Got my Visa yesterday. It's all finalized now.
s/w engg 2 : Congrats yaar. So you are out of this country.
s/w engg 1 : B.A in Histroy...ohh. ..man, enjoy your life there?
s/w engg 2 : : Got full aid, eh?
George : Yeah. Got the UGC scholarship That will be
1200 Rupees per Year.
s/w engg 1 : Great. Enjoy.
s/w engg 2 : (Thinking loud): 1200 Indian Rupees...!
that means 1200 * 45 = 54000 Dollars... with that amount I can buy an
three bed-room flat & a Mercedes here...(US) !!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
SCENE 5
A foreigner working in Pune as Software Engg gets a call from his
Home ..
Father : What are you doing son ?
S/w Eng : Having breakfast ?
Father : what are you eating ?
S/w Eng: Beans with gravy and Bread and a local desert....
ie (Puneri Misal Pav and Mastani :-) )...
Father : enjoy...dear!!!
Discl: [forwarded Email contents!]
Venue: Microsoft Corporation, New York, US some s/w engineers are seeing some photographs.
S/w engg 1: What's that?
S/w engg 2: Bob's photographs from India.
S/w engg 1: Wow. Let me see. Which is this place?
S/w engg 3: (Sees the photo) this is Kalyaninagar, Pune
s/w engg 1 : Fundo yaar! And what is this? He got Bajaj Pulsar also.
s/w engg 2 : Let me see (sees). This guy enjoys life man...
s/w engg 3: You know how much an Bajaj Pulsar costs? Nearly 60K......
Say it in dollars... (60000*45 = 27,00,000 dollars)
s/w engg 2: Oops. We can't dream of such a thing here.
s/w engg 1 : Let's go to India & try for a job.
[Everybody excited.]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 2
Venue: Sun Microsystems, SanFrancisco , California , US
s/w engg 1: I'm with you man. My Visa is expected anytime. Soon I will fly to India
s/w engg 2 : Ohhh.... When is the party?
s/w engg 1: When I get it on hand.
s/w engg 2: Where will you be working?
s/w engg 1 : I'll be working in a company in Sadashiv Peth there....
s/w engg 2 : Oh! Sadashiv Peth. Great yaar. where it is...
s/w engg 1 : It is in Pune.
s/w engg 3 : Fundoo place yaar. Nice climate Not like
California ..
You'll love the weather yaar. One of my friends is in Budhwar Peth...He
says it's the ultimate place to live in. Cool maan.
s/w engg 2 : Who is the client yaar?
s/w engg 1: You know Municipal Corporation of Pune ?
s/w engg 3 : Yeah. MCP. One of my friends is there in the Road Repair & Cleaning Division. Most challenging job yaar. People are working in the cutting edge of technology there.
s/w engg 1 : I'll be writing software for the accounts
department of the GCU.
s/w engg 2: GCU? what it means...?
s/w engg 1 : that is Garbage Collecting Unit.
s/w engg 3 : : Great yaar. That's what I like about that country. You can get a job which requires all your skill. Not like here. See I'm
writing software for the space shuttle remote control.
I hate this.
s/w engg 1 : Don't worry guys. I'll give you my
Hotmail id. You can send your resume to me and I'll forward it to the HRD.
[Everybody takes down his Hotmail id.]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 3
Venue: IBM, New York , US
(Conversation between a Male s/w engg. and Female s/w
engg.)
Male : Hi!
Female: Hi. You know. I'm planning to settle in India
soon.
Male : What??
Female : Yeah. My marriage will be here in America
only. He is doing
his
Ph.D in J.N.T.U and he's coming here for a month. His
study
will be over in 2 months. He's already got a job in MSEB. We planned to
settle in Pune itself... I'm also planning to work there. Let's see...
Male: Good luck... dont forget us & US...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 4
Venue: Intel Corp. US
s/w engg 1: Great news guys. Our George has got
admission in the IGNOU with scholarship for B.A History. A great new field yaar...
All are excited...
George : Got my Visa yesterday. It's all finalized now.
s/w engg 2 : Congrats yaar. So you are out of this country.
s/w engg 1 : B.A in Histroy...ohh. ..man, enjoy your life there?
s/w engg 2 : : Got full aid, eh?
George : Yeah. Got the UGC scholarship That will be
1200 Rupees per Year.
s/w engg 1 : Great. Enjoy.
s/w engg 2 : (Thinking loud): 1200 Indian Rupees...!
that means 1200 * 45 = 54000 Dollars... with that amount I can buy an
three bed-room flat & a Mercedes here...(US) !!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
SCENE 5
A foreigner working in Pune as Software Engg gets a call from his
Home ..
Father : What are you doing son ?
S/w Eng : Having breakfast ?
Father : what are you eating ?
S/w Eng: Beans with gravy and Bread and a local desert....
ie (Puneri Misal Pav and Mastani :-) )...
Father : enjoy...dear!!!
Discl: [forwarded Email contents!]
Monday, January 08, 2007
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Let's say it's 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You're really tired, upset andfrustrated.
Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if
you'll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help,the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However,these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and thecough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!
Discl: [forwarded Email contents!]
Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if
you'll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help,the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However,these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and thecough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!
Discl: [forwarded Email contents!]
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