Opportunity

..... Email FWD!

If you have been in IT industry too long these are your symptoms:

1.) U use phrases like "No issues" and "Value addition" in everyday parlance. For e.g . When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, "His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues"


2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to U by friends whose faces U cant remember.



3) U drink more tea or coffee than water.



4) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)



5) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive thecall.



6) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial "0"to get an outside line.



7) U haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.



8) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.



9) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.



10.) Ur important 'meetings' usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.



11) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.



13.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.



14.) U email Ur mate who works at the desk next to U.



15.) As U read this list, U r thinking of sending it to ur friends who are also in IT.



16.)U r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12



17.)U r not sure so u scroll back check it .



18.)And now u r smiling!!!!



Am sure u did steps 16 to 18.




..... Email FWD!

Always allow the bosses to speak first

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally,one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".
So the eager Junior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries."Pfufffff, and he has gone.

Now the Senior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff, and he has also gone.

The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 1.30pm"
Moral of the story is: "Always allow the bosses to speak first"



..... Email FWD!

Women Says..

FINE
this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
if she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
this is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
this is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
this is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
a woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say welcome.
Sending this to the men friends: to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!

To women friends: to give them a good laugh!
Oh, and before we forget ..

"Whatever"
it's a woman's way of saying DIE !



..... Email FWD!