Saturday, February 02, 2008

Always allow the bosses to speak first

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally,one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".
So the eager Junior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries."Pfufffff, and he has gone.

Now the Senior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff, and he has also gone.

The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 1.30pm"
Moral of the story is: "Always allow the bosses to speak first"



..... Email FWD!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Women Says..

FINE
this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
if she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
this is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
this is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
this is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
a woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say welcome.
Sending this to the men friends: to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!

To women friends: to give them a good laugh!
Oh, and before we forget ..

"Whatever"
it's a woman's way of saying DIE !



..... Email FWD!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Technical Shyari.......

mere... Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain...
Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...

Shayad mere pyar ko taste Karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya ke PASTE karna bhool gaye..

Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo...
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo...

Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS...

Ho gayi galti humse, Click ho gaya mouse
Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse!

Tumse mila main kal to, Mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili To kehti ho: Your file not found!

Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if"
Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif

Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't likeyour face
Par dil ke computer mein, Nahin hai enough disk space

Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, Pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, Ho jaata hai server down

Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, Create main karoonga
Tum usse debug karna, Wait main karoonga

Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, Main so gaya
Yeh dekho mera connection, Time out ho gaya

Kya chaal hai tumhaari, Jaise chalti hai koi cat
What is your ICQ number, Aao karein chat

Tum jabse meri zindagi, mein aayi ho banke female,
Yaad raha na ab kuch, Na postman , Na e-Mail

Joh sadiyaon se hota aaya hai Woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey Ctrl+Alt+Delete kar doonga...

Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki message Aanna Band Hai.......
Aap hi humse naraz hain ya Web Server band hai.......

Badli hai duniya , kuchch mein bhi badal gaya hoon
Pahle bekaar tha ab S/W Programmer ban gaya hoon

VC aaye to VB mein daal do,
VC aaye to VB mein daal do
seedhe seedhe sabko museebat mein daal do

Project extend ho gaya to kya ho jaata hai?
Are Tankha milti hai aur timepass ho jata hai..

teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
kabhi offline to kabhi online piya

Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo project testing kar rahe hote hai


..... Email FWD!